


What am I Supposed to Do?

by GraceMoriarty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceMoriarty/pseuds/GraceMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How could a demon hunt go wrong? Oh, many ways. Dean Winchester sure found out. (Short, angst, destiel)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What am I Supposed to Do?

Dean paced up and down the bunker halls. He didn’t know how to feel, but he knew the feeling of depression was rising over him. “Why the hell couldn’t I be there?” He yelled at the air around him. He wasn’t going to frighten anyone because the only other person that would be there was somewhere across the country claiming of needing to be by himself. “Son of a bitch!” He swung his arm and tossed papers and books onto the floor. His mind raced back to what had happened.

                _He and Castiel were out on a hunt. A simple demon hunt. Nothing they haven’t done before. Dean promised that afterward he would bring him to a nice bar._

                Dean, still thinking, walked down to his room and slammed the door behind him. “Why.” He muttered to himself. He sat down resting his head on his bloody and worn out hands. He sat there not wanting to feel anything, and not wanting to remember, but he did.

                _As the two of them entered the abandoned building Dean had the idea to split up and cover more land. Cas went one way, and he went the other leaving both by themselves. When the hunter thinks back to it now he realizes it was a stupid idea in the first place._

                “Cas,” his weak voice called out. “Cas, you have your ears on?” He said hoping. Just hoping his friend would hear. “Cas, buddy you got to listen to me. This is me calling you…calling you to tell you…” He slowed down.

                _Dean didn’t see or hear anything as he walked through the halls. He was hoping the hunt would end soon so they could get going. He wanted to do something at the bar. He just didn’t know yet but he knew it would be good._

                “…to tell you… to get your feathery ass down here,” He blinked and shook his head not sure if that was what he wanted to say. “No. Cas, Castiel, you need to help me out here. Cas I have no idea…” He was out of words. Out of words he could possibly express what he was trying to say.

                _He heard shuffling a little bit ahead of him and started to peer around the corner. Nothing but a rat. Dean jumped at the sight of it scurrying past him. He got himself back together and as he started up again he heard a whimper._

                “I have no idea,” He starts up again. “Of what I am feeling. Cas I need you to come down here. You are all I got, buddy, I need you,” He sighs and lets out the tears he was holding back. “I am torn. Cas I-I,” He stops once again.

                _He walked towards the noise with caution. “Cas!” He whispered sharply. Another cry. He started to get nervous and ran to it. He saw what he never wanted to see._

                “Can you hear me? Hear my voice?” He asked through sharp breathes. “Cas please!” He looked up as if he would see his angel floating above him. “Cas, I am begging you. Give me a sign you son of a bitch!” He waited.

                _The demon that they were hunting had Cas in a choke hold. For once Cas was unable to fight back. The hunter held up his gun. “Dean, Dean, Dean. You know you don’t have a clear shot. You try to shoot me you have a ninety nine percent chance you shoot your precious angel.” She said stroking a finger down Cas’s cheek. “There is nothing you can do,” She growled. Dean looked at Cas whose eyes were already on him. Cas tried to get out but the demon held him tighter. “No, no Castiel.” She purred._

                “Fine,” He gave up on getting a sign. “I saw your pain. I saw you scared. I-I just couldn’t do anything,” He looked at his night stand quickly before kicking it down. The once unbeatable man was beaten. “I…need…you.” Tears ran down his face.

                _Dean’s hands were shaking. His whole body was shaking. He watched as a blade slid down the demon’s sleeve into her hand. The blade was brought up to Cas’s chest. Dean couldn’t move. He didn’t know why. He had saved Sam multiple times, but this, this was different. He didn’t have a clear shot, he had no way of helping. He was useless. “It is okay Dean,” The blue eyed man whispered before the blade plunged into his chest. He ran to the man and saw as wings burned themselves into the ground and his eyes disappeared. Dean placed his hands on the wound even though it wasn’t much help. The hunter stood up and stared at the demon. She was smiling as she put her hands above her head mockingly. Dean did the same thing to her that she did to Cas._

                “No!” Dean screamed as he remembered what Cas had said. “No Cas. It is not okay! I need you. You made me happy and I know for a fact that I made you happier than you have ever been. We need each other. So, no Cas it is not okay!” Dean yelled to nobody. He stood up and made his hands to fists. “I don’t know…how to go on. I mean Sammy left, for good now, and now you. What am I supposed to do? Cas, buddy, I do need you. I know that-,” His voice cracked “that love his joy, hatred, happiness and sacrifice, but that doesn’t mean…” He stopped talking knowing he was rambling. “I’ve wanted to say this since-since forever. Castiel, I love you.” He shook his head. “Not with you vessel, but with your speech and quirks. I love your way of not understanding anything, I love your humor even though you think you’re not being funny. Cas-,” Dean fell onto his bed making wet puddles in his pillow. “Please come back, Cas. I know you can hear me!” His voice was muffled by his tears and his pillow. Dean sat up to look around hoping to see what he wanted to see the most.

                There was no one there. No one appeared. No one came back. Dean was left sitting and waiting by himself before telling himself it was useless to try. Dean tried summoning Cas for weeks, but each night it was the same outcome. No one was there. No one appeared. Cas didn’t come back. Cas would never come back, but Dean would see him again, someday.


End file.
